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HOW TO GET OTHERS TO SEE THINGS THE SAME WAY YOU DO

by Brenda

It is a given that not everyone sees things the same way we do. Indeed, everyone gets to the point of owning the right to their opinion and deciding to agree to disagree. Whether it is 6+4 which makes 10 or 3+7 or 2+8 or 1+9 or 5+5, the outcome remains the same: 10. It is therefore imperative that as we learn to get along with others, we also learn to respect their way of thinking. Since the way we do things isn’t always the only way to do them, we should not oppose or dismiss others’ opinions entirely. Knowing how to get others to see things the way you do is a skill that must be learned.

Here are a few tips:

Have integrity – One important factor in getting people to see things the way you do is to carry yourself with respect. There is nothing quite like integrity. Be principled. Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ ‘No’. That way, people can trust you for sound advice and they may be more inclined to see things the way you do.

Show loyalty – Loyalty is one of the few things that attract a person to other people. Nobody wants to open up about their issues and hear them from another person’s mouth. In order to get others on your side, you must show them that you can be trusted, that their words will not be misconstrued, and that they can be on the same page with you. Loyalty can make a person more willing to see things your way.

Be honest – Another key way of sustaining relationships and getting your views heard is to be honest about your opinions. Don’t say what you don’t mean. If a person asks of your honest opinion about how they run their business and they are not being productive, be bold enough to tell them the truth. They will appreciate your honesty rather than your flattery. Remember, people are not easily won by flattery, so don’t say more than you mean and praise people only where need be.

Take note of important details – This is also another essential part of getting others on your side. Pay attention when people talk. Take note of the intricate details, for instance, the date, time or place, in conversations. This will help you give an informed judgement and will let the other party know you were listening. No one wants to feel like they are talking to an empty chair.

Validate people’s feelings – Learn to consider the feelings of others, too. It makes you more trustworthy. Sometimes all a person wants is to be heard. It is true that you make a good point, but sometimes, bend. Allow the other party to win the argument. You don’t always have to settle on a win-win deal. Go the extra mile and do things the way they want you to. The outcome can inform your decision the next time.

Don’t get too comfortable – The saying is true, familiarity breeds contempt. Always use courtesies when dealing with others. People tend to dislike it when you get too comfortable with them, when you have an opinion on everything, and when you come across as all-knowing. Admit it when you make mistakes. Do not be all-knowing or all vulnerable. Strike a balance and know when to say what.

Criticise constructively –  Another way of getting others to see things the way you do is to criticise constructively. Ever wondered why the opinion of your colleague in the office is always sought after? Well, the above is true: they have an objective viewpoint. They criticise constructively, and separate people from their mistakes. They have learnt the art of criticism without denting the image of the person involved. You can, too. Agree to disagree with people. Disagree without resentment. Always precede your criticism with a good compliment.

Give – People always listen to the one who gives to them. It might not necessarily be monetary, just doing something for nothing can win a person over to you. Share the little you have with others, your value is in another man’s happiness. When you do this, you will earn their respect and they will be more inclined to see things the way you do.

Have a fair and balanced view of others – Nothing quite beats a person with a fair and balanced view of others. This person is automatically seen as loyal and with integrity. This rare attribute of recognizing and appreciating people for who they are, while admitting that they have an ugly side, can make people more inclined to see things the way you do. You are perceived as realistic and genuine by others, making you more relatable.

Look for what you have in common with others and build a connection – Are you meticulous at your job? Do you have a good sense of humour? You’re well on your way to having that friend on your side. People identify with their own kind. As it’s often said, real recognizes real. Look for that unique thing you have in common with this person and create goals around them; collective goals they can also be part of. That way, the other party may be more inclined to take your opinion.

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